Pain...

It's late and I am awake... again.  I've been meaning to write again for some time and just didn't find the time to do this adequately.  My Aunt Myra (love you!) asked me to keep on writing cause she enjoyed reading it, and I haven't forgotten about her! So if you don't like this one,  you can blame her!!  =)

Pain sucks.  I could stop there and have said a mouthful and it would be agreed universally.  But there is always more to it.. pain isn't simple.  It is complex.  It can be sharp and brief, but excruciating.  It can be drawn out and almost numbing, and last for decades.  It can morph into a myriad of other complaints and symptoms to hide itself, but it never goes away and is the root of all other ailments.  Of course, I'm speaking of emotional pain as well as physical.  Physical pain can be treated and dulled, and in time, will almost always dissipate or be cured.  Emotional pain is not always so simple. 

What is a good way to treat it, then? First thing, you have to admit you hurt.  That's always the place to start healing, identifying the hurt.  Its why doctors do an examination, to make sure they know the source of the problem, where the pain is coming from. For some of us, we can take others back to the time and place of our pain and describe it in detail.  For others it is a lifetime of layers of bad-timing and missed opportunities.  Plain and simple, if you draw breath, you have experienced emotional pain.  Pain is no respecter of persons.  Pain doesn't care if you are rich or poor, have a nice house or no house at all... it strikes cause we feel. 

Feelings.  The root of emotional pain that psychologists try to get you to talk about... your feelings.  Feelings are that thing that make some men squirm and some women grab a bag of popcorn and a girlie movie.  We like them when they are pleasant... gorgeous day, paid bills, romantic dates, happy healthy babies, success in life.  But things go bad... debt collectors, fight with the spouse, sickness, lost a job... and pain takes a driver's seat because you are no longer using your wisdom to steer your choices but allowing your pain to control your actions.  God has been dealing with me a lot about how I respond to life's bumps and bruises.

Now, I'm not a self-hater so bear with me.  But I've been known to be a tad quick-tempered.  Having kids and my temper in the same house is sometimes a fire waiting for the gasoline.  But I believe God has tempered me a lot in that regard over the years.  In fact, depending on who you ask, I'm pretty laid back with the kids now (they might not agree!). For years, I allowed pain to control what I did.  I ate to hide the pain of being lonely, it wasn't easy being a preacher's kid who moved every 2-3 years, its pretty hard to keep friends that way, too.  I allowed pain to control my actions and not use the wisdom I had to say 'HEY! CUT IT OUT!'. When are we going to admit we have pain, and let God take control instead of being led by our emotions?

Easier said than done... I'm a woman.  We feel everything!! We feel everything too much.  The Lord wants me to be balanced and I've been striving for balance for a few years now.  This isn't easy for me, okay!! =/  But He told me that with balance, with Him, I can have peace.  Instead of fear or pain or hurt driving me mad in this world, I can have sweet peace, with a side of joy, followed by a blanket of grace.  I can smile when the world says to cry.  I can laugh when everyone complains.  I can shrug off what buckles millions.. because I didn't let my pain control me... I allowed God to be.. GOD. I let Him guide me with His wisdom, and not let pain speak out of turn.  I have learned to stop and pray before I make decisions.  I try to listen to my husband instead of shutting him up.  I'm not perfect, okay! I slip and fall.  But God always picks me up and puts me back on the right path again. I'm learning the right way to go about life, and its never to late or to early to learn that.

He's got a lot of work to do, but "He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it" (Philippians 1:6, paraphrased).  I believe He can because He has already done so much! I can't give up now, and neither should you. 

As my sweet dear husband says ~ stay golden ~!