So thankful...

I had a dream last night.  No, no big Martin Luther King dream... well maybe...it was a dream that, for the second time I can remember, I woke up crying.  The dream itself is not the focus of my blog today, it is the meaning within the dream that holds my attention.  Thankfulness.  I, like many humans, forget that I am blessed.  I tend to walk around in the mess I've made of life and blame situations and circumstances, when it is really all my own fault.  God has to remind me sometimes, that I walk around in the mess but I do it with His grace, provision, and love.  I am blessed in my mess!!!

And really, is it such a mess? I mean, I look at it as such sometimes, but God is teaching me, showing me, that it is really sorted in a way that I just don't see the rhyme or reason in it.  But He is showing me and teaching me, that it isn't really a mess at all.  That He sees it, and calls it good - despite my mistakes.  Because He doesn't look down at me and see all that, He just sees the forgiveness He's granted me, and the grace I sometimes take for granted.

So today, I am extremely grateful for this life that God has given me. I didn't have to have it, you know.  My three beautiful, intelligent, and healthy children?  They are a gift.  My wonderfully awesome, loving and Spirit-led husband? Also a gift.  My family and friends that encourage me and lift me up even when I'm down or having a bad attitude? A gift.  The fact that I can go to church where I want, believe what I want, wear what I want, educate myself how I want... a gift.  I have air conditioning, a 3 bedroom home with 2 full bathrooms. I enjoy cable television, internet service, and hot and cold running water.  I have a cell phone... my kids have cell phones.  HOW AM I NOT BLESSED?!?!? How do all of these blessings mean my life is a mess?!!!??

I am thankful that I am alive today, and spending precious and valuable time with my children.  So many mothers and fathers are in prison, addicted to drugs or alcohol, or mentally incapable of being a fit parent.  I am thankful that I am alive today and enjoying a healthy relationship with my husband.  So many families are dysfunctional and distorted and not enjoying peace and joy like me. 

God, I thank you.  For every day, for every moment, and NEVER let me forget that I am blessed.  Wake me crying, and full of gratitude every day if you need to, so that I never forget again all of the wonderful blessings you have filled my life with.  Thank you, for loving me and teaching me what it means to truly have a thankful heart.  Thank you for joy when I want to get angry and be frustrated with things.  Thank you for peace when I want to have a pity party.  But mostly... just thank you. Amen.